Sounds cliché, but, when expressing your sympathy, the less that is said, the more it will mean. Specializing in the retail sales of sympathy gift baskets, I’ve heard it all; from the inspirational to the religious, from the philosophical to the poetic. My hand has ached from writing lengthy, seemingly never ending gift card messages. When too much is said the meaning gets lost and the goal, of easing a grieving individual’s pain, remains unmet. Therefore, the less said, the better.

Keep It Simple

I live my daily life by the K.I.S.S. philosophy; for those unfamiliar with the phrase, it stands for “Keep It Simple, Sweetheart” (“sweetheart” is often substituted with “stupid”). Expressing your sympathy is an appropriate time to apply this philosophy. When you are face-to-face with a grieving friend or relative, a simple “I am sorry for your loss” is acceptable. If you knew the deceased well, you could add something more personal; for example “I am very sorry for your loss. Your Mother was a remarkable woman and will be missed.” There is no need to go on and on; after all, is there anything you can say that is going to ease the pain of one in mourning?

If you are sending a sympathy gift basket, flowers, or a fruit basket, keep your written message simple, too. Popular expressions include “With Deepest Sympathy”, “You Are In Our Thoughts & Prayers”, and “You Are In Our Thoughts During This Difficult Time”. If you truly want to make it easier on the individual grieving, at the bottom of your message include the phrase “No Thank You Required”, which indicates to the receiver that they do not need to send you a thank you note for your gift. If you would like to receive a thank you note, please be patient and give the family some time to return their thank you note in appreciation of your gift.

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

Only get religious when you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the person mourning is, in fact, religious. Sounds pretty basic, right? I am amazed at how many sympathetic expressions I write that are over-the-top religious. Quoting scripture should be reserved for times when you know, without a doubt, that the deceased and the mourner were people of deep faith. If you are a person of deep faith, but are unsure of the recipient’s depth of faith, you are better off leaving tones of religion unsaid. Consider accompanying your simple expression with a basket of fruit, a spray of flowers or a sympathy gift basket.

A Taste Of My Own Medicine

Hopefully, I have impressed upon you, my reader, the importance of keeping verbal and written expressions of sympathy simple. Weed out all those extra words and get to the point. Having said that, I will take a taste of my own medicine, and will say no more!