Stop Them From Ruining Your Wedding -=-=-==-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Do you know how to keep your wedding vendors from creating a wedding that they love, but you hate? "Don't Let Them Ruin Your Wedding," an amazing new ebook co-authored by Debbie MacGuffie, reveals the simple secrets for making sure that you and your vendors create the wedding of YOUR dreams. Click Here -=-=-==-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
">Tulle. Matron. Vow. Weddings are filled with all kinds of words that we just don't use in the rest of our lives. This is part of what makes them special. Language has a way of telling us things about a culture without the culture even realizing it.
Our language is telling us that weddings are special. They're a unique experience in our culture and thus in our language.
“Officiant” gets my vote as the strangest word in wedding planning. My Merriam Webster dictionary defines “officiant” as “One who officiates at a religious rite.”
The world includes so many types of Officiants you can choose as you plan your wedding, it can seem overwhelming at first. Pastor, Rabbi, Roman Catholic priest, Bishop, Clergy, Justice of the Peace, Close friend, or Wedding Judge. Any of these could play the role of joining you and your beloved in matrimony.
The thing to keep in mind is that a lot of these options won't apply to you. Very few brides will be choosing between a Catholic Priest and a rabbi (sounds like the beginning to a bad joke), although it can certainly happen, if you're conducting a cross-denominational wedding.
Still, based on religious leaning (or lack thereof), you can probably narrow your choice down to only 2-3 possible officiant types. Unfortunately, that still leaves you with about 200 possible individual officiants in your local area (at least)!
You should "shop" for an officiant in much the same way you shop for your other wedding vendors (florists, musicians, caterers, etc.). You want to talk to people who have used this officiant, to hear their opinions. You should have a set of questions to ask each officiant, to gather information on just what they'll bring to your ceremony. And you should judge each potential officiant on more than just the facts of their answers to these questions; you should also judge how you get along with them, whether they seem to "click" with you and what you want from YOUR wedding ceremony.
Wedding officiants have been known to ban certain pieces of music and/or readings from a ceremony. They've been known to control what pictures your photographer and videographer can take during your ceremony. Officiants have been known to be rude to guests and/or to the bride and groom, and (if you're really lucky) the rude things the officiant says to people can be recorded on your wedding video for all posterity. Won't that be fun to watch on your 25th anniversary?! (not!)
Wedding officiants have even been known to require that you vow certain things! (For example, the "till death do us part" thing, which is a crucial element of the wedding vows to me, personally, but which friends of mine distinctly wanted to remove from their wedding ceremony. They had to shop around to find an officiant who would "allow" such a thing -- by which I of course mean they had to shop around to find an officiant whom THEY would allow to conduct their wedding, since my friends, as the marrying couple, were obviously in charge.)
As with every other type of wedding vendor, some officiants can come to believe that they're the wedding experts whose word is gold, and you are just an irrelevant newbie. (In fact, officiants can behave this way even more so than other vendors, because they do play such a crucial role in the actually-getting-married part of your wedding.) Keep in mind that while you may be a newbie, you are in no way irrelevant at YOUR wedding. You can choose a different officiant; don't let him make you think you can't.
An officiant acts as a band leader for your wedding ceremony. He’s generally not involved in the reception (except possibly as a guest), but he’s the boss and conductor of everything that happens at the ceremony. However he's a boss you get to CHOOSE, so choose one who is going to play his role by running things exactly as you'd have them run. He'll run things because you hired him to do so, so he'd best run them the way that you yourself would run them if you weren't so busy being the relaxed and happy bride.
The qualities you want to look for in your officiant are basically the same ones you'd look for in any party "host." You want him to be comfortable with his role, with public speaking, and with getting a group of people to do what he wants, when he wants them to. You want him to have experience in conducting weddings, be a quick thinker and problem-solver in case of emergency (or even just mildly unexpected turns of event, which can feel like emergencies on your long-dreamed-of wedding day) and you want him to have that certain charisma that makes people glad to have come together to listen to him speak and to participate (even just by watching) an event that he "hosted." A lovable officiant equals a wedding that people love.
(c) All Rights Reserved -- Debbie MacGuffie
--Debbie MacGuffie is a professional writer and the co-author of "Don't Let Them Ruin Your Wedding," a new ebook that will reveal the simple steps to keep your wedding vendors from wasting thousands of dollars of your wedding budget. Stop Them From Ruining Your Wedding
-=-=-==-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Do you know how to keep your wedding vendors from creating a wedding that they love, but you hate? "Don't Let Them Ruin Your Wedding," an amazing new ebook co-authored by Debbie MacGuffie, reveals the simple secrets for making sure that you and your vendors create the wedding of YOUR dreams. Click Here -=-=-==-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
